Realtionship – Assume the Best, Even When It’s Hard
In every intimate partnership, there will be moments when your partner doesn’t express themselves skillfully.
- Maybe they’re defensive.
- Maybe they shut down.
- Maybe their words land with a sting that takes your breath away.
But here’s the invitation: Pause. Breathe. And ask yourself:
- What if beneath the poor expression… lives a deep love and care for me?
- What if they just don’t yet have the skill to regulate their nervous system the way they want to?
- What if they’re drowning in their own overwhelm, trying to say what they really mean with clarity and calm?
Assuming good intent—even when the expression is messy—can change everything.
- Not because you’re excusing harm.
- Not because you don’t set boundaries.
- Not because you become a doormat.
But because you’re choosing sovereignty over reactivity.
When you stop taking every misstep personally, you become freer.
You stop living at the mercy of someone else’s dysregulation. You show up more grounded, loving, and compassionate—not just for them, but for yourself.
From that space, you don’t collapse into their chaos.
You lead. You love more skillfully than the moment would otherwise invite.
And here’s what happens over time…
- That assumption of love becomes a healing force in the relationship itself.
- Your partner begins to feel safer. They start to trust that their imperfections won’t destroy their connection. And in that safety, they actually do begin to express themselves more skillfully.
- This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being conscious.
It’s about remembering that the person you chose to love is doing their best with the tools they have right now.
What would change in your relationship if you led with this assumption today?
Share this with someone who needs to hear it. Tag a friend who’s learning to love with more wisdom and less reactivity.
